


Strawberry Scintillae

by egelskaseriunaHxH



Series: Killugon Fics [3]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Flashbacks, Gen, Implied Mpreg, Implied Sexual Content, Killugon Kids, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Time Skips, Trans Female Character, Trans Killua Zoldyck, Trans Male Character, Trans Pregnancy (Mentioned), Unplanned Pregnancy, implied drunk sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:09:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27574988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/egelskaseriunaHxH/pseuds/egelskaseriunaHxH
Summary: "Gon," Killua started before trailing off, jolting Gon out of his reverie as he stared at the constellations Alluka had been teaching them over the past few weeks. Gon's hum of a response was the only indication that Killua had been heard, yet the lightness of the noncommittal sound only served as a testimony of the comfort levels between them.5 minutes later, Killua continued, "Gon, have you ever given thought to having children? You're at the age now that your parents were when they had you, right?"----Glimpses of moments shared throughout the years between Killua, Gon, and strawberries.orIn which a 35-year-old Gon Freecss comes back to the Known World after spending 10 years following Kite and Ging through the Dark Continent. Gon spent 23 years achieving his dream of becoming just like Ging, only to realise that he'd simultaneously spent 15 years unconsciously being like Ging the one way in which he never wanted to be.
Relationships: Alluka Zoldyck & Killua Zoldyck, Ging Freecs/Kaito | Kite (implied), Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Series: Killugon Fics [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2111367
Comments: 59
Kudos: 156





	1. Strawberry Carton

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FindingGing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FindingGing/gifts), [FiftyShadesOfKillua](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiftyShadesOfKillua/gifts).



> *Disclaimer* 
> 
> I have not read the manga so I don't actually know much about the Dark Continent. Please excuse any glaring plot holes and deviations from canon.
> 
> This fic has jumps in time/flashbacks, so hopefully it does not become too confusing.
> 
> If reading about aged-up characters and things like implied mpreg/ambiguous conception/sexual activity makes you uncomfortable, this is probably not the best story for you :) 
> 
> I never intend to ever write anything explicit regarding this specific pairing but there will be certain insinuations, so please bear that in mind. 
> 
> Apologies for any errors - I am autistic and dyslexic and HxH is a coping mechanism for me.
> 
> Thank you! 
> 
> ||
> 
> Gifted to FindingGing for being my first support in my fic postings in the fandom and also as a thank you for an AMAZING gift of a fic! I am so touched and inspired!! <3
> 
> Gifted to FiftyShadesOfKillua for continuously motivating and supporting me with all of my fics - thank you <3
> 
> \- M. A.

**_~~~ Present Day ~~~_ **

**_Gon's Age: 35_ **

On the same day that Gon returns to the Known World after traversing the Dark Continent with ~~his parents~~ Ging and Kite for 10 consecutive years, his first plan of action is to track Killua down.

According to the letters that he finds in his old apartment from Leorio, Killua apparently lives in NGL; far removed from the rest of the Zoldycks and close to where they had faced death and ruin 20 years prior. He still lives with Alluka/Nanika and they supposedly follow a simple life with the aim of travelling out only once a year.

Despite being privy to this prior-sourced information, it still takes a fair amount of phone calls, emails, and favours called-in before Gon makes any headway into discovering the general location of the man he still considered to be his best friend.

From then on, while munching on a carton of strawberries as he packed a bag of supplies with a grin, Gon knew that he would make fairly quick work of finding the Zoldyck siblings.

**_~~~ 17 Years Ago ~~~_ **

**_Gon's Age: 18_ **

It had been 4 years since they had parted at the World Tree and 1 year since they had reunited and fallen back into their old travelling ways when Gon blurted his feelings to Killua over a shared carton of fruit that was about to go bad.

They were cooped up in some random hotel, as had become their norm over the past year for Gon and the past 4 years for Killua and Alluka/Nanika. Alluka's feeble efforts at keeping them fairly healthy and not surviving on a diet of fast food and chocolate were often met with her brother and Gon scarfing down any fresh produce on the brink of expiration after ~~choosing to eat candy instead~~ ignoring it for days.

As Gon watched Killua’s face contort into a slight grimace after eating a rather soft-looking strawberry, his mouth moved ahead of his brain and he heard his voice exclaim, “Killua, I’m in love with you!” before he could even stop himself from blabbing his deepest and longest-kept secret.

Another strawberry remained suspended mid-air as Killua’s eyes widened and bore into Gon’s with what seemed like a mixture of fear and horror, if he was reading them correctly.

Killua stared at Gon and Gon stared at Killua, neither of them saying a word as the tension in the room continued to increase in its painful magnitude. A muffled sneeze from Alluka’s room at the other end of the suite broke them out of the rather uncomfortable reverie that had settled, pushing both teens into simultaneous action.

“Fuck I’m such an idiot! I’m so sorry Killua - ” Gon blurted at the same time that Killua made a pained face and gasped, “Gon I can’t - ”

“Sorry, you go first!” they each rushed to say, the resulting small chuckles at their synchronous speech further easing the tension.

With a sigh, Killua set down the berry and ran a shaking palm down his face before scooting closer to Gon on the large sofa, lightly brushing his fingertips against Gon’s knuckles. Gon ignored the jolt of his heart and wave of butterflies that came with that one simple touch and instead tried to focus on the rather dejected look on Killua’s face.

“I’ll go first,” the pale boy whispered, brushing his hand against Gon’s once more. He did not wait for a response from Gon before gripping the other teen’s hand near-painfully and murmuring, “Gon I – me too…always. It’s just…I can’t – _we can’t_ – not with everything and I,” he paused to roughly wipe at his face, whispering sadly, “We just can’t, okay? I’m sorry.”

Gon looked at him in a mixture of hurt, confusion and concern, “What?? Killua you…you feel the same way, yet you say that we can’t? _You_ can’t? _WHY!_?” He lowered his voice belatedly, remembering Alluka asleep mere metres away; “Why?” he whispered more quietly, yet the lone word seemed ever the louder, amplified by the hurt in his voice.

Killua gave Gon’s hand one last squeeze before pulling away and walking off towards his bedroom, not looking back at Gon as he shakily mumbled, “Please Gon, leave it. If what you said is true, you’ll leave it.” Gon stared at the empty room, seeming so cold without its snowy-topped occupant and convinced himself that it would be okay if he cried himself to sleep that one night.

***

The next morning, Alluka shook her head and tutted in disappointment as she met the discarded carton of strawberries on the couch, now gone sour and rotten.


	2. Strawberry Patch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 35-year-old Gon heads to NGL to find Killua while reminiscing on events of the past.
> 
> \---
> 
> "Gon," Killua started before trailing off, jolting Gon out of his reverie as he stared at the constellations Alluka had been teaching them over the past few weeks. Gon's hum of a response was the only indication that Killua had been heard, yet the lightness of the noncommittal sound only served as a testimony of the comfort levels between them. 
> 
> 5 minutes later, Killua continued, "Gon, have you ever given thought to having children? You're at the age now that your parents were when they had you, right?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2nd part is here :) Please enjoy!
> 
> Edit: 
> 
> @mic-danks from Tumblr did a BEAUTIFUL watercolour painting (inserted at the end of the chapter) of the enclosed art that I digitally drew for this chapter. 
> 
> Please check them out and go give them a like and follow! I really am so touched!!!  
> 
> 
> \- M. A.

**_~~~ Present Day ~~~_ **

**_Gon's Age: 35_ **

As Gon traversed through the countries of the Mitene Union in his efforts to reach NGL by nightfall, he allowed his thoughts to stray and ponder upon what Killua must have gotten up to over the past 15 years (vehemently refusing to give thought to that one night 10 years prior that still caused him to flush and nervously sweat, despite being over an entire decade ago).

He could not really understand the reasoning behind Killua settling in a place that had caused them both such pain, loss, and sacrifice but he could sense that his old best friend found poetic justice in the juxtaposition and irony achieved by making a peaceful life in such a place.

Before Gon could really dwell too deeply on his 23 years of friendship with Killua (although 80% of that time had elapsed with them being apart; he was _assuming_ that they were still friends) the twin trees of the NGL Border Stop loomed ahead of him, a wizened man standing at the entrance.

The man, back hunched and face deeply weather-beaten and wrinkled from a life of obvious toiling in the harsh conditions of that part of the Known World, leaned on a staff for support as he attempted to straighten himself to the former height of his youth, projecting his voice with a level of strength that far surpassed his physical stature. “Who goes there?”, the uncanny voice boomed, “Beyond this area lies a restricted nature reserve under the protection of the Hunter Association. Unless you have written permission outlining your business from the Association that matches your identification or you are, at least, a Single-Star Hunter, you are not permitted to enter.”

Gon bit back a grunt of annoyance, peeved that ~~his father~~ Ging was still able to pull his leg at the ripe age of 54. Gon had humbly (albeit crossly) accepted the licences of both ~~parents~~ Kite and Ging, as Ging had been smugly adamant that entrance to NGL was only permitted to Double and Triple-Star Hunters and that Gon would require his or Kite’s Triple or Double-Star licence, respectively, if he wanted to enter.

Despite knowing that Ging could not see him, Gon fished his own Single-Star licence out of his rucksack and presented it to the man for the mere satisfaction of not having to rely on ‘Hunter-Child Privilege’ but rather, his own merit. “I’m Gon Freecss,” he grumbled, “Single-Star Hunter. I wish to enter in order to locate some old friends.”

The man stepped aside to allow him passage, but not before shaking his head and grousing, “Good luck with that. ’Isn’t a soul in there but the remnants of the _incident_ from 2 decades ago and some weird vampire-looking couple with children just like them – all pale skin and black hair. Gives me the creeps.”

The old man shuddered before hobbling off in the same direction from which Gon had come, leaving the Hunter alone to ponder on if Leorio had been wrong all along and it had been Alluka alone who had settled in NGL.

**_~~~ 16 Years Ago ~~~_ **

**_Gon's Age: 19_ **

Age 19 finds Gon returning to NGL with Killua, on orders from Chairman Yorkshire to bring back updated records on the reproduction rates and overall lives of the Chimera Ants, 5 years after the resolution. Their records had finally been completed earlier that evening and with Alluka already asleep in her pitched tent, they found themselves sitting together on a random cliff, watching the stars in comfortable silence, only disturbed every so often by the odd question or the brush of fingers against a carton of strawberries procured from a nearby patch.

Gon had been mentally and physically ~~and emotionally~~ preparing to leave for the Dark Continent with ~~his parents~~ Ging and Kite in a year, when he would turn 20. He and Killua had maintained a fairly platonic relationship since Gon’s disastrous confession a year prior, despite both being aware of the mutual underlying feelings.

Killua had not let much on regarding his reasons, as was expected, but Gon assumed that it was either fuelled by Killua's fear of ruining their friendship, something to do with unresolved trauma, or even something stemming from the other Zoldycks. Gon himself had learned to shrug it off and accept that it was for the best because he had also never wanted to make Killua feel unfairly tied down while he was off exploring the Dark Continent, had they pursued a romantic relationship.

He had learned to bite his tongue whenever he felt the urge to press Killua about why he _couldn’t_ be with Gon and swallow the bile in his throat at the thought of returning to find Killua married with a family. Or, at least, that was what he told himself.

"Gon," Killua started before trailing off, jolting Gon out of his reverie as he stared at the constellations Alluka had been teaching them over the past few weeks. Gon's hum of a response was the only indication that Killua had been heard, yet the lightness of the noncommittal sound only served as a testimony of the comfort levels between them.

5 minutes later, Killua continued, "Gon, have you ever given thought to having children? You're at the age now that your parents were when they had you, right?"

Gon's own response followed a pregnant pause, with the teen crossing his legs and leaning back in contemplation. "Honestly, I've never given it much thought," he looked across at Killua and swallowed the urge to reach across and caress the pale face illuminated by the stars and moonlight, which had always reminded Gon of the enigma beside him.

He gave a small sigh, "Children are...they're a task, a lot of work. I think one should really want them and plan for them because honestly lots of people are really bad parents and yeah, they love their kids in their own way, but it messes up the kid almost always, even if they hide it well. My own parents had their struggles with losing custody of me given their lifestyle and I grew up thinking they didn’t want me."

He risked a glance over at Killua before continuing, "There's only one person that I'd want children with, anyhow, and that's not really on the cards at the moment. Besides, the last thing I’d want would be to endanger a child by exposing them to the lifestyle I follow or even worse, leaving them alone without seeing them for years..."

He trailed off again and with a shrug a few minutes later, he finished his piece, breaking the lull in conversation once more, "Maybe yes, in some fantasy world where everything was perfect with sunshine and rainbows - but as things stand, no. I don't think a kid would deserve to have me as a parent. Like I said before, I'd only have a biological child with one person in the world, but that's not an option, nor is it something I allow myself to want, given the circumstances. It would be too disastrous. I would never adopt, either, because how could I adopt a child and expose them to my habits instead of giving them stability? That would be willingly enlisting an innocent kid to a life of recklessness. So yeah," he chuckled dryly, "I guess I've given it some thought and decided it's not for me in this lifetime."

He snapped his mouth shut and looked across at Killua in barely-concealed alarm, "Wait, Killua, why did you ask? Do you want children? I hope I've not put you off with my depressing speech?" Gon worried at his lip while Killua continued staring at the night sky.

Eventually, Killua smiled across at Gon, flushed cheeks and the stars reflected in his eyes hiding the hurt concealed there as he inaudibly added, "No, Gon. Don't worry, I agree with everything you said - and no matter how embarrassing it is to say this, I would have wanted a family with only one person as well."

**_~~~ 15 Years Ago ~~~_ **

**_Gon's Age: 20_ **

In retrospect, getting drunk at a farewell party for yourself leaving on ~~a death mission~~ an expedition with your parents, thrown by the person you've loved for 6 years may not have been the smartest idea, even if you were Gon Freecss and no stranger to bad ideas.

It seemed even less smart when you considered the fact that you'd be sharing a room with the said object of your affection, due to all your family and friends filling the small seasonal hotel near the World Tree to the brim.

The inhibitions of not crossing certain lines and respecting boundaries to preserve a sacred friendship were thrown to the wind – at least, that was what Gon assumed had happened given the blurry images of the night that his brain supplied.

Frightfully enough, as he was rudely awakened by ~~his father~~ Ging banging on the suite's door, yelling at him to hurry ~~the fuck up~~ so they wouldn’t miss the ship, the only thing Gon could clearly remember from the night before was kissing Killua and the taste of strawberries as they stumbled into the dimly lit room at 3:30 AM.

Exhilarated from the idea of his impending trip, despite the fact that they had both woken up scantily clad, with a last wave at Killua (who insisted on no ‘embarrassing stuff’ like hugs), Gon reassured himself with confidence that nothing ~~inappropriate~~ serious could have possibly happened between them that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!
> 
> Thank you again to @mic-danks on Tumblr for the absolutely beautiful recreation of my art. 
> 
> \- M. A.


	3. Strawberry Field

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Killua's eyes seemed to brighten with a glimmer of hope, but it disappeared quicker than it had even appeared, his eyes falling back to a muted blue. With a soft sigh, his change in demeanour radiating between the small space, he turned away from Gon, naturally curling into himself like a wounded animal. Gon tentatively placed a hand on the dip of Killua's waist, the worry in his heart aching less painfully when Killua assented by pulling his arm closer and intertwining their fingers. Once again, Gon had to suppress his natural instincts by staying quiet, so focussed instead on caressing the soft curls at the base of Killua's neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy to have almost finished another chaptered fic, especially as I had lost motivation for this for some time!

__

_**~~~ Present Day ~~~** _

_**Gon's Age: 35** _

After an evening of trudging through the overgrown plains of the once-bare lands of NGL, Gon was beginning to second guess his zeal to find Killua without proper mental preparation or contact. It had been ten years since he had last been in the company of the mirage that plagued his thoughts on a daily basis, yet belatedly, his confidence in the mutuality of their bond was wavering.

It wasn't as if they had parted on poor terms - rather, the night that Gon had last seen Killua was desperately clutched in the hands of juvenile naivety that caressed his mind and heart; the fuel for everything that stoked the fire within his soul. Just one straying thought back to that night was enough to drive him to muster as much power as he could with _Jajanken_ , for he had never dreamed of ever expressing his love so intimately to the one he cherished the most.

His parents, of course, did not know the reason behind this secret source of power, or if they did know, they had the mercy to spare Gon the horror, which only served as further confirmation of their oblivion as Ging _lived_ to torment his son.

_**~~~ 10 years Ago ~~~** _

_**Gon's Age: 25** _

"Does it feel weird to call them your parents?" Killua asked, smiling lazily across at Gon as they simultaneously turned to face each other on their shared hotel pillow.

It had been five full years since Gon had left the Known World for the Dark Continent and this was his second night back after his parents had taken on some high-profile job from Chairman Yorkshire. It would be a short job, but the weekend coincided with his 25th birthday and despite Ging's attempts at forcing him to do the dirty work, Gon and Kite's protests had won out. This found Gon in some five-star hotel in Yorknew on his birthday night, wrapped up in 1000 thread count sheets with Killua who had somehow managed to show up 7 hours after Gon had made contact. Gon hadn't really given thought to how their reunion would go, but when Killua had greeted him by pushing him back into the hotel room with a searing kiss, he hadn't complained; now, here they were, some hours later - minds and bodies finally on the same wavelength of intimacy after 13 years. 

Gon hummed, thought-process slowed from his afterglow as he ran his fingers up Killua's forearm before gently interlocking their hands, "Not really, no. That's what they are; I've always known Ging as my father and I'd known that Kite was my mother since meeting Ging 10 years ago, so it's more than sunk in by now. I still don't call Ging 'dad' but sometimes I call Kite 'mum' without thinking; none of us really mind it as it doesn't really matter what we call each other, but more so that we're together."

Killua's hand seemed to stiffen in Gon's and the rugged explorer frowned as his beloved's gaze turned distant and tinged with pain. By now, Gon knew better than to pressure Killua, and so instead of speaking like he wanted to, he worried his bottom lip and he waited in troubled silence for the moment where Killua would inevitably share his hurt. Eventually, a soft murmur came from a head averted to hide any traitorous tears, "It must be something really special to have time with both parents where you just exist peacefully and happily - so many people don't have that. Even people with just one loving parent, there's always that empty space that will forever be obvious."

Gon schooled his natural expression of pity into a semi-sad smile that would be more palatable to Killua, "I'm sorry about your parents, Killua. Really, I am. I know it's not necessarily my place to apologise on their behalf, but I think it's important to remind you that their behaviour wasn't okay or normal in any way and that you and your siblings deserved none of what happened to any of you."

Killua wiped his eyes roughly and gave Gon a wry smile, "Gon, it's fine. My parents were only so by name - really; we were science experiments to them instead of children, maybe with the exception of Kalluto. Before him, we were all genetically engineered test-tube babies with our traits and skills chosen for us before we could even take our first breaths. So yeah, don't apologise for my creators; they were never parents to me. They weren't even what triggered my statement about parents." 

Before Gon could pry further into what _had_ triggered Killua's withdrawal and subsequent speech, Killua leaned closer and pressed a chaste kiss to Gon's collarbone, effectively taking his breath away like the lovesick fool that he was. Sapphire eyes met citrine ones as Killua's elegant hand came to rest on Gon's tan chest, groomed nails concealing the hidden danger that lay beneath; ready to turn into weapons at a moment's notice. 

Killua's eyes seemed to brighten with a glimmer of hope, but it disappeared quicker than it had even appeared, his eyes falling back to a muted blue. With a soft sigh, his change in demeanour radiating between the small space, he turned away from Gon, naturally curling into himself like a wounded animal. Gon tentatively placed a hand on the dip of Killua's waist, the worry in his heart aching less painfully when Killua assented by pulling his arm closer and intertwining their fingers. Once again, Gon had to suppress his natural instincts by staying quiet, so focussed instead on caressing the soft curls at the base of Killua's neck.

As expected, a soft question lilted over to his ears, whispered so quietly that it was almost missed, even with the sharpened hearing of its target. "Are you disappointed? You must have expected my body to be biologically male...or have you known all these years and just kept it to yourself to be polite?"

Gon continued his petting of Killua's hair as he pondered the safest response, pressing a tiny kiss to Killua's bare shoulder in the interim. "My family has always raised its children to be respectful of others' bodies," Gon carefully began, "Even Ging did not know that Kite was trans until Kite wanted him to know. Whenever we bathed and changed together, I would either turn my back to you or simply focus on your face in order to maintain that respect for your body. So no, Killua, I did not know, but that also does not mean that I'm disappointed." Befitting his nature, Gon dragged his hand, still entangled with Killua's, back again to rub suggestively at Killua's hip, "How can you ask if I'm disappointed after that embarrassing display of a lack of stamina on my part, or do I need to show you again?" The chuckle that bubbled forth from his chest almost drowned out the smack and indignant cry of "Idiot!" from a beet-red Killua.

When their weekend rendezvous came to an end, who knew when they would next see each other once more? But until then, Gon was happy to enjoy and indulge in the simple pleasures of being with Killua.

_**~~~ Present Day ~~~** _

_**Gon's Age: 35** _

****

Before Gon was even a Hunter, he had sharp senses that allowed him to be acutely aware of his surroundings and therefore, he knew how to discern potential threats well in advance. As an adult, his spatial awareness had only improved and so he continued along his trek through the NGL wilderness with a small smile on his face, as he noticed that he was being trailed.

The individual had talent, that much was obvious; they were as silent and clinical in their movements as a young Killua had been, yet they lacked the dangerous edge needed to disappear in plain sight that Gon’s best friend had possessed, to his own envy.

Gon had grown more patient in his age, making it easy to leave his tracker to their own devices; eventually, they would show themselves, or Gon would grow tired of being trailed and would attack when they least expected him to.

After another hour or so, Gon was growing bored – he had finished the countless snacks stored away in his hiker’s pants and he was yet to see any indication of life amidst the overgrown terrain, aside from the strawberry field where he had come to a halt. He had learned to not underestimate any opponent, but he was fairly sure that his tracker would not pose a dangerous threat to him; even seasoned Hunters had been mere putty in opposition to _Jajanken._

More as a scare tactic than an actual attack, using _Paper,_ Gon sent a blast of aura in the general direction of the individual, chuckling at the startled cry in response to _Paper_ ’s spherical projectile.

A pale young man, clad in a tracksuit of brown and green hues, a camouflage against the deserted overgrowth of the lands surrounding them, tumbled out of the tall grass that had spectacularly failed at concealing him with a resounding _oof!_ He hastily launched to his feet, youthful features contorted in distrust as he faced off with an opponent that suddenly seemed much larger up close. Gon crossed his arms and met the young man’s eyes in a silent challenge, eyebrows shooting upwards as he met the brilliant blue of Killua’s eyes set in a face that was similar to, well, _Gon’s_. He shook his head and blinked rapidly before looking at his tracker once more, frowning in confusion as he was met with the same sight as before.

The boy, ‘ _probably no older than 13’_ , thought Gon, sent a blast of _Nen_ towards Gon, faltering as lightning skimmed over his body, making his wild dark hair stand even more on edge. With a frustrated groan, he sent out another burst of aura, this time one akin to the same _Paper_ that he had dodged from Gon’s own light attack. When he realised that his aim was off, and with his _Nen_ reserves obviously depleted, the young man unfolded a strong metal staff, procured from his back, and pointed it towards Gon as he began to circle the Hunter. With another jovial chuckle, Gon reached a hand out and grabbed the teen by the front of his jacket, beaming as the younger male struggled and whacked him with his staff.

“I don’t want to break your staff so you’d better stop that. You have potential but you’re a poor showing if you’re of any relation to the Zoldycks,” Gon sniped, thinking humorously to himself how much it reminded him of his younger self with Ging. The young man tried to hit Gon once again, growling in fury as his staff was neatly plucked from his fingers and tossed to the side.

“Hey!” the teen yelled, “Don’t throw my staff!” He hurried to the discarded weapon and snatched it up quickly, clutching it tightly to his chest. He glared daggers at Gon and pointed it at him once more, snarling, “Have some respect! This was my dad’s AND grandfather’s!” The teen seemed to remember that he was addressing an opponent and again took up a fighting stance. “You’re trespassing on protected lands! I demand you leave at once!”

Blue eyes narrowed at him in anger as Gon continued laughing softly at the boy’s persistence. “I come in peace, truly,” Gon held his palms up in a display of surrender, “I only attacked you to scare you because I was bored with pretending that I hadn’t noticed you. You can see my Hunter License if you like.” The boy kept his staff pointed at Gon, but his eyes seemed slightly less suspicious as he snarled, “I don’t want to see anything. Why are you here!?”

Gon shrugged lightly, “I’m here to find someone. Someone whose eyes look like yours, actually. Do you know Killua Zoldyck? Or maybe Alluka Zoldyck? Is she your mother, by chance?” At Gon’s second mention of the name ‘Zoldyck’, the teen’s eyes twitched and narrowed once more in fearful suspicion as he groused, “I don’t know who those people are. They don’t live here, so please leave. These lands are deserted.”

Gon was about to respond that he ‘ _would find that out for himself, thank you very much’_ when a young female voice rang out, piercing the silent tension of the clearing like an arrow through the peaceful quiet of night. “Ginn? Ginny? Oh, Ginnn, where are you!? Papa will have our heads!” The boy’s head whipped around in horror at the sound of the cry and he yelled in desperation, “Kito, go!! Run! Don’t come any closer!! It’s dangerous! Please, just run home!” Gon stepped back unconsciously, hearing the fear and despair in the teen’s voice, mind reeling at the familiarity of children’s supposed names – _Ginn_ and _Kito_.

Ignoring the other child, a young girl of about 10 ran into the strawberry field, stopping to a halt and letting out a shriek of fear as her eyes landed on Gon. Gon himself took another step back as the girl’s appearance caught up to his slowly turning brain cogs; she was a tanned girl, unlike the paler boy, and large golden-brown eyes peered up at him in terror as wavy, silver-white locks of hair blew in the gentle breeze.

Gon’s mouth went dry as he stared between the two adolescents, heart hammering away in his chest as a wave of nausea washed over him. His eyes landed on the boy’s staff once more, breath faltering as he recognised the tiny scratches and dents on what was once his – and Ging’s – fishing rod, albeit without the red ball and hook at the end.

Just as Gon thought he could spiral no further, an unmistakable voice, the voice that filled his daily thoughts and nightly dreams, rang clearly through the shroud of dusk that had descended. “Kito? Ginn!? Kito Freecss!? Kids? Answer me this second! I heard Kito’s scre-” Killua’s voice trailed off instantly as he came to a running stop in the middle of the field’s clearing, mouth falling open as his eyes landed first on Gon and then to each child on either side of him.

Silence reigned for a split second before they all spoke simultaneously:

“Killua…?” Gon gasped.

“Papa!” the children cried in unison, as they ran to Killua.

“Gon…?” Killua whispered, eyes growing wet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONFUSED? READ HERE:
> 
> Further explanation about the children's conception and why they live in NGL can be found in my responses to the FIRST TWO COMMENTS of this chapter (Chapter 3 - Strawberry Field). 
> 
> WARNING - these are technically spoilers for the next chapter, but also not really lol, so if you rather wait to have it all explained then, then don't read my comment replies!
> 
> ||
> 
> This universe's headcanon about Killua's ability to conceive: 
> 
> (Skip if you are bothered by genetics/DNA manipulation/cloning)
> 
> • Cloned/genetically modified/altered Zoldyck kids.  
> • Alluka was designed to be the heir (biologically male) after Silva and Kikyo had already tested their ideas and plans on Illumi and Milluki and Killua and knew what they wanted in order to maximise the potential of the heir.  
> • Something went wrong with them attempting to release her Nen while she was still an embryo but they didn’t realise until she was about 3, when Nanika appeared for the first time.  
> • Like Killua, Alluka originally had white-blond hair but when Nanika started appearing, it changed to black and she also changed her pronouns and started identifying as a girl (aged 3-4).  
> • When Alluka was 3, Killua (biologically female) was 4 and so Silva and Kikyo descended on Killua as their replacement heir, essentially forcing her to mentally transition to become 'him' in order to make up for losing Alluka as their blond male heir.  
> • Therefore from 4 years old, Killua is referred to as he/him and so he grows up referring to himself as such too.  
> • Illumi plants the needle when Killua is about 8 - it not only influences his thinking as is canon but essentially acts as a hormonal catalyst for preventing his biologically-female puberty and to promote testosterone-related development, like voice changing, in the future.  
> • Killua doesn't necessarily stop to think that his body is different from other males, simply because he isn't exposed to other bodies.  
> • Silva and Kikyo do not bother with sex reassignment surgery on Killua because they intended to choose a wife (for appearances) for him when he turned 18. Their plan was to harvest Killua's eggs and essentially genetically clone him, using the future wife as the surrogate for the embryo.


	4. Strawberries and Cream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon continued to glare at Killua, rage not dampened by hearing the other’s defence, “You let 15 years pass, Killua. 15 years. I’ve missed their first everything! I’ll never get the chance to hear their first word, see them walk for the first time, show them how to navigate the wilderness, teach them any early life skills! You took that away from me! You took that away from them!” He scoffed to himself, shaking his head in disappointment, “I don’t know how you live with yourself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh the last chapter before the epilogue!! This wasn’t the intended format but it just wrote itself – I think we needed to see a discussion/confrontation between Killua and Gon. 
> 
> Warning for some swearing in this chapter – I giggled at it to my family (they help ensure that my autistic, dyslexic works are fairly understandable) but we decided that it was sort of needed for the effect/impact of Gon’s emotion. 
> 
> Thank you and enjoy!
> 
> \- M. A.

**_~~~ Present Day ~~~_ **

**_Gon's Age: 35_ **

**_Killua's Age: 34_ **

**_Ginn's Age: 14_ **

**_Kito's Age: 10_ **

The comforting crackle of the fire did little to calm Gon’s nerves or soothe his racing heart as he sat stiffly on one of the logs that encircled the rustic, stone-lined walls of the hand-built fire pit. He poked gently at some sort of root vegetable dispersed in rough cubes throughout the other softened contents of the ‘s _omething stew’_ , according to the children, before looking across at Killua. The other man ate slowly, sending fleeting glances across at Gon, cerulean eyes conveying the turmoil and fear that lurked within despite the false ease displayed on his facial features.

The rather palpable tension that surrounded the group did not seem to affect the two adolescents who continued to eat with gusto and joke amongst themselves; Gon himself yearned for that sort of oblivion and naivety that he had once possessed as a teenager. With a deliberate cough, Alluka drew to her feet, smiling kindly at Gon as she took the children’s empty bowls and lured them inside with the promise of strawberries and cream, leaving the once-lovers to their own devices.

Gon continued to stare defiantly at his untouched stew, stomach in too much uproar to withstand anything substantial. He refused to be the first to break the tense silence that had settled between himself and Killua – it was not as if _he_ had been the one keeping important secrets from Killua for _15 years_. Golden eyes looked up from beneath raised eyebrows when Killua cleared his throat softly, folding his hands in his lap as he crossed one leg over the other, a position reminiscent of their youth.

“Are you really not going to say anything?” Killua inquired quietly, breaking eye contact easily, ever the more different from the loud, strong-willed youth he had once been. Gon set his bowl aside and crossed his arms with a frown, not bothering to hide his displeasure to protect Killua’s feelings. “What do you want me to say, Killua? _What is there to say_? What!? Thank you for keeping something as MASSIVE as MY OWN CHILDREN from me!!?” he trailed off with a scoff as Killua flinched from his raised voice, slamming his closed fist to his knee in frustration.

Killua’s eyes welled with tears, just as they had earlier on in the evening, before he had quelled the children’s incessant questions with a firm look and invited Gon back to their cottage. “Gon I- I don’t know what to say; where to begin,” he reached across to touch Gon, dropping his hand sadly as Gon shifted further away while snarling, “I don’t know, maybe you can start with where you betrayed me, my trust and my faith in you? When you betrayed my views _after_ knowing that the LAST thing I _ever_ wanted to be was an absentee father!?”

Gon kicked at his backpack with a growl, continuing before Killua could muster a response, “And you know, I was so fuckin’ excited to see you again. I was finally back here after 15 years and I thought _‘Hey, you know maybe Killua and I can finally be together again and maybe we can travel around with Alluka before going back to settle on Whale Island and live our days out in happiness.’_ My bad though!” he laughed humourlessly, “What should I come to find but the only thing that I NEVER wanted?”

Killua wiped his eyes angrily and threw Gon a hurt look before exclaiming, “Do you think I planned this!? Hmm? Is that what you think!? That I wanted to propagate this filthy Zoldyck line and raise children that can’t even see the outside world because my crazy family will snatch them up and turn them into lab rats? Do you think it feels nice to tell them no, they can’t leave the same deserted wasteland that they’ve been in since their birth? Or how about when they ask to hear about you, or if they’ll ever meet their Dad? Do you think that’s a fun conversation for me to say that I can’t tell them if they’ll ever meet their other parent who doesn’t even live in the Known World?”

Gon laughed once more, pointing a finger at Killua, eyes widened in mild delirium, “And whose fault is that, huh Killua? Whose fault is it that they don’t know who the fuck I am? Was I to guess their existence the moment they were conceived!? Do I look like some fertility God to you or something?” He shook his head and gave an unhinged chuckle, “You tricked me, Zoldyck. You tricked me good. To think my dumbass has obsessed over our ‘first time’ for 10 years when in fact the first time was actually a drunken night 5 years before that weekend even happened!”

Gon’s voice cracked as he shook his head once more, the hurt and betrayal splashed across his handsome features sending a stab of pain to Killua’s already aching heart. “If you wanted to screw me up for life, you’ve done it brilliantly, Killua. Well done! Do you know what it feels like to know that weekend, when I turned 25, was the ultimate betrayal? That those days that I’ve clutched close to my stupid heart for a decade were a ruse? Obviously, the words ‘I love you’ meant nothing to you, because when you love people, you don’t sleep with them and conveniently forget to mention that you have a five-year-old together and that further conception is possible!” Gon’s chest rose and fell as he took deep breaths in an attempt to supress his anger, growling as Killua wiped his eyes again.

“Stop crying. You have nothing to cry about. If anyone should be crying, it’s me! You’ve made me worse than Ging. Ging had a fuckin’ restraining order out against him from Mito so he and Kite couldn’t see me! Yet now I’m the asshole who was traipsing across the Dark Continent for 15 years instead of raising my own goddamn kids. How do you think I feel, after growing up thinking that my parents didn’t want me; after telling you my reasons behind not wanting children, that I’ve had them for almost 2 decades and they don’t know who the hell I am!” Gon raged, not caring in that moment if Alluka or said children heard him from the nearby cottage.

He looked across at Killua and formed his hand into a fist, snarling, “Say something! Why are you all quiet now? You had plenty to say when we were youngsters or was that all a show too? A lie to get me to fall for you? Oh, _poor lonely Killua_ , so strong and loyal despite it all; _so_ hurt by his family and untrusting of the world, but not untrusting enough to not lie to your so-called best friend and spread your le-”

“That’s enough, Gon.” Killua sniped curtly, hurt-derived rage forming his mouth into a grimace. He dropped his head into his hands, sliding them back over the messy ponytail that held his curls away from his face with a deep sigh. “You’re entitled to your rage. I won’t deny you that, but you don’t need to mock me or try to hurt me; this is hard enough as it is.” Gon only sighed in response, offering up no apology or remorse as he stared into the flames of the waning fire.

“I’m sorry, okay? Is that what you want to hear, because it’s true! I genuinely am. I didn’t know what to do. I thought myself sterile from my parents’ experiments and I knew you did not want children.” Killua paused with a soft groan, gesturing out to Gon in his anxiety from trying to explain the situation, “You had just gone off with your parents and that’s what you’d always wanted; how could I have tried to contact you when you had just begun following your dream!? How could I tell you when you said you’d never want a child in this lifetime!?”

Gon continued to glare at Killua, rage not dampened by hearing the other’s defence, “You let 15 years pass, Killua. _15 years_. I’ve missed their first everything! I’ll never get the chance to hear their first word, see them walk for the first time, show them how to navigate the wilderness, teach them any early life skills! _You_ took that away from me! You took that away from _them_!” He scoffed to himself, shaking his head in disappointment, “I don’t know how you live with yourself.”

Killua’s head dipped as his face crumpled slightly with a wince, causing Gon to feel the first inkling of remorse for the evening. “I barely do. I used to live for you. Now I live for them. If it weren’t for them, I’d already have-” Gon sighed as he reached across and grabbed Killua’s wrist, interrupting the Transmuter as he quietly chided, “Come now, don’t do that. You don’t mean that…” He looked to the stars as a small sob fell from Killua’s lips before the other man clasped his free hand over his mouth to minimise the sound of his pain and grief, turning away so that Gon could no longer see his face.

With a sudden tug, Killua came to land solidly against Gon, almost awkwardly sitting in his lap as he scrambled for purchase on the log-bench. Gon allowed a small smile to grace over his lips for a moment as he shifted so that Killua was comfortably seated beside him, never releasing the paler man’s hand throughout the fumble.

“Listen – I can’t say that I’m not angry, hurt, betrayed, upset, and saddened by this whole thing, but what I _can_ say is that I still love you,” Gon paused to cup Killua’s jaw with shaking fingers, voice wavering with the intensity of his emotions. “I will _always_ love you; Gods, Killua; I’d probably still love you even if you did something as fucked up as killing my parents. As the sun rises and sets, as the tides change, I will love you.” Gon brushed a stray curl off Killua’s forehead, heart clenching painfully as his beloved’s tear-filled eyes shone with equal bounds of pain and devotion.

“I’ve never deserved your love; _never_ ,” Killua paused as his breath hitched in his effort to hold back more tears. He gripped Gon’s hand painfully as he choked out, “Illumi always said that I would hurt or kill you, and he was right. I tried so hard to not do it and yet I only managed to hurt you more than I ever could by being honest.” With a soft growl, Gon squeezed the elegant hand within his roughened one, “ _Don’t talk about Illumi._ It’s all I can do to not hunt him down and kill him where he stands, so don’t make it harder.”

He pressed a tiny kiss to Killua’s knuckles, “I don’t know where we will go from here, but I want to be in my children’s lives. I want to know them, and I want them to know me. I want to forgive you so that they can have stable co-parents, at the very least. I can’t say if I can _be with_ you, at least at this point in time, but I want to have a family with my best friend, regardless of what it looks like or how hard it gets.” With a small smile, Killua leaned his cheek into Gon’s palm that still cradled his head gently, whispering, “Just being by your side has always been more than enough for me, Gon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Killua and Gon are reunited! Just the epilogue to go now. 
> 
> Please leave any comments or feedback you may feel generous enough to share <3 It really keeps me going. I'm a medical student in his hardest year and writing is my source of joy <3333
> 
> \- M. A.


	5. Strawberry Shortcake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gon Freecss leaned against the massive trunk of a World Tree sapling - just like the one he had climbed as a teenager in his quest for time with his father, Ging - as he observed his family members interacting nearby. A feeling of coming full-circle washed over him amidst his recollection of the 15-odd-years he spent traversing the same continent with his parents, only to unknowingly lose out on raising his children; yet here he was, 5 years after leaving the dangerous terrain in his quest to reunite with Killua, returning for an expedition with the love of his life, their two children and both of his parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. This is it! It’s finally over and I must admit that it’s bittersweet for me. I really loved writing this and despite it being far from perfect, I’m actually quite proud of it, I think. This fic helped me through some tough months and so did each one of you who took the time to give kudos, share comments or even just read without interacting. 
> 
> Thank you for sticking through with me and reading – I genuinely appreciate the love and support SO much. It truly made the pain of mourning family members lost, general life struggles, and the stress of being a neurodivergent medical student way more manageable and so I cannot express enough thanks. 
> 
> I hope that you enjoy the last chapter <3 It’s quite long but I wanted to give an insight into each family member’s personality/their familial interactions, as well as some hints for the future. 
> 
> Thank you and endless love to you for reading and supporting me.
> 
> Please excuse any glaring errors – I am autistic and dyslexic :)
> 
> \- M. A.

_**~~~ 5 Years Later ~~~** _

_**Gon's Age: 40** _

_**Killua's Age: 39** _

_**Ginn's Age: 19** _

_**Kito's Age: 15** _

__

_**~** _

_**Kito** _

_**~** _

“Dad? Dad, _come on_! You gotta tell me if this outfit is good enough for the Dark Continent!” A hush fell over the room as the incessant whining of the youngest family member disrupted the entire cottage for the umpteenth time that evening. 19-year-old Ginn was the first to crack, a muffled snort escaping from behind the hand clasped firmly over his mouth. His parents followed soon after, as Killua chuckled quietly to himself, shoulders shaking with his near-silent laughter, while Gon’s boisterous laugh seemed to carry upwards all the way into the rafters. Alluka giggled softly to herself, shaking her head as she made her way back towards the kitchen.

The laughter continued as a 15-year-old girl barged into the room, a high flush splashed across tanned cheeks while thick, white locks of hair tumbled down her back, barely constrained by a loose hair-tie. “It isn’t funny!” she snapped, crossing her arms and pouting in a way distinctly reminiscent of her younger father.

Her brother threw his head back in laughter as his eyes landed on the outfit in question, blatantly ill-suited in all its glory as a fitted, sequined black tank top and matching mini skirt. As Gon struggled to catch his own breath, Killua wiped his eyes amidst his fading chuckles, teasing his daughter lightly, “I expect your father to say that it’s perfect for the occasion. After all, he traipsed around for _years_ in some green booty shorts and accomplished quite a bit in them!” Gon doubled over with another bout of laughter as Ginn shrieked, tugging at his dark curls in mock-despair, “Papa _no_! I did _not_ want to revisit that image!”

Kito huffed as she pointed to a framed photo of 14-year-old Killua and Gon on the nearby mantlepiece, “It’s _right there_ , Ginn! You revisit it every day! Besides,” she pouted once more before continuing, “I think Dad looks quite nice!” Gon beamed at his daughter, pulling her into a one-armed hug, golden eyes twinkling in mirth as Kito’s identical ones softened under his affection. Ignoring the cries of _“You would!”_ and _“You inherited his fashion sense!”_ , Gon placed heavy palms on his daughter’s shoulders and dipped his head to look at her kindly. “Some of the most dangerous Hunters and individuals I’ve encountered were scantily-clad women. Whatever you choose will be appropriate for the Dark Continent, I’m sure; however, it’s up to you if you’d like to chance being bitten by the insects.”

Looking at her father in a mixture of fondness and exasperation, Kito relented as she withdrew from his embrace, mumbling, “Yeah, I guess I didn’t consider the insects and beasts getting a free pass to my skin.” She turned and began making her way back to her bedroom, waving off the light-hearted taunts from her family members with an amused grin.

_**~** _

_**Ginn** _

_**~** _

Ginn smiled to himself as he grabbed the parcel of freshly baked strawberry shortcake that his Auntie Allu had wrapped up for his grandfathers. The warm transition of dusk blending into the cooler tones of night cast subtle shadows across the rustic contours of the cottage kitchen as father and son milled about within its confines, preparing for their impending voyage. "Are you excited to see your Dad's parents again, son?" Killua mumbled in question, whilst busying himself with packing some dried goods and snacks for the trip.

Ginn's small smile stretched to a full-blown grin, emphasising his resemblance to his brunet father as he nodded enthusiastically, “ _Am I_!?” he exclaimed, “I’ve been waiting for this trip for _years_. And yeah – absolutely, I’m so pumped to see Grandpa and Grandad again! Do you think Grandpa might let me fight him while he’s using _Crazy Slots_ this time!??”

Killua's responding laugh filled the quiet kitchen as he stuffed the parcels of food into Gon's largest backpack. "Honestly? I'm not sure..." Killua mused, "Kite surely likes you guys more than us because we were expected to face _Crazy Slots_ at 14, yet he might probably go easy on you - if he does say yes, that is - despite you being 20!" Killua rolled his eyes as he pulled the zipper closed and washed his hands while continuing, light disdain lacing his voice, "Ging, though? He may possibly tell you off about not being the new Chairman of the Hunter Association or something of equal expectations."

Ginn chuckled, deftly snatching a piece of strawberry shortcake from the parcel before shoving it into the posterior compartment of the bag. "Ahhh come on, Papa! Grandad isn't _that_ bad. He's just...a bit rough around the edges?" Ginn smirked mischievously as he taunted Killua, "A bit like Dad, right? But you have no problem with Dad; as a matter of fact, you seem to like him _very much_!"

Killua sputtered, a pink dusting spreading across his cheeks as he swatted his son with a kitchen towel, "Your father is _nothing_ like his father! I'd say he is more like Kite than like Ging - Ging is both awkward and embarrassing, but I guess that Gon inherits his loudness and determination - that's about it, though!" Ginn easily side-stepped the reach of the kitchen towel, chuckling as he poked his father's red cheek before withdrawing using his own inherited _Godspeed_ , "Defensive, aren't we?" He stopped to lean against the counter at the other end of the room, calling cheekily to his father, "Say Papa, do you have a crush on Dad or something?"

Killua sputtered once more, blush deepening as Gon entered the room, dark eyebrows raised up to his hairline. He sidled up to Killua and laid his hand on the younger man's waist, resting his chin on his beloved's shoulder. "Are we bad-mouthing me? Can I join in?" Gon teased lightly, ignoring Killua's embarrassed noises and Ginn's mock-gagging ones.

Ginn smiled fondly at his parents before responding to his Dad, "We were lowkey bad-mouthing your parents, I’m not gonna lie. Well, Papa was. I was here saying I'm excited to see them again cause it's been a whole year since we saw them last!" Gon pinched Killua's side lightly, jerking with a sharp hiss as his lover sent a jolt of electricity up his arms in retaliation. "Ging deserves to be bad-mouthed, _always_." Gon agreed, nodding sagely, "But Kite absolutely does not!"

He exchanged an identical grin with his son before continuing, "Are you feeling ready to have our first proper family adventure? The small expeditions we've done in the last 5 years won't compare to this one, I'm warning you. It's super dangerous and technically we shouldn't even be taking Kito as she's underaged, but she _is_ a Hunter, so she’s qualified. And well, I personally couldn’t bear to leave her behind."

Ginn intercepted the worried glance that his parents exchanged and furrowed his brow in a similar expression, “Don’t worry, oldies – we will all protect her with our lives. Honestly, though, she might just end up being the one saving our asses.” Ginn smiled reassuringly at his fathers before answering the first part of his Dad’s question, “And Dad, I swear, I was _born ready_ for this trip. Literally, I grew up daydreaming about the adventures I’d have when I finally met my dad! I’m seriously pumped about it!”

Gon reached across to clasp Ginn’s shoulder in a show of affection, smiling fondly at his son who was already nearing his height and bulk. Killua allowed himself to cast them a loving gaze before clapping his hands and raising his brows pointedly, interjecting on the father-son moment, “We leave in less than twelve hours and neither of you has finished packing yet! Get to it!” Ginn grumbled as he trudged out of the room, exchanging a faux-exasperated glance with Gon as they complied, neither brunet brave enough to disobey the order of the white-haired man.

_**~** _

_**Killua** _

_**~** _

__

With a laboured sigh, Killua pulled out one of the mahogany chairs of the dining set before allowing himself to sit heavily beside his sister. A comfortable silence reigned between the siblings, lightly interrupted by the odd knock of Alluka's spoon against her bowl, filled with French onion soup. The wafts of the rich, deep aroma coming from the caramelized onions would usually make Killua's mouth water, and yet, he had to force himself to breathe deeply as sudden, rolling waves of nausea threatened to overwhelm him.

Alluka raised her head as chair legs suddenly scraped harshly against the wooden floor; by the time she looked around to ask her brother what the matter was, all that met her sight was a flash of white hair disappearing into the nearby half-bath. She hastily pushed her own chair back from the table as she followed her sibling, wincing as the sound of him emptying the contents of his stomach grated against her ears.

" _Onii-Chan_!" Alluka gasped as she came to kneel behind her brother, placing a soothing hand on his back as he spat into the basin of the toilet. Killua accepted the cup of water that she shoved into his hand, rinsing his mouth out repeatedly before taking the refilled glass and sipping the cool liquid until he looked less green in the face.

Killua leaned lightly against Alluka as she helped him up, reaching back down momentarily to flush the contents of the ceramic bowl before slumping between the wall and his sister with a quiet groan. He averted his eyes from the similar cerulean tones of his imouto as she tried to meet his gaze, letting his lashes flutter closed as her soft voice began to deliver its dreaded sermon.

"This is the fifth day in a row that you've thrown up, Onii-Chan. I am worried. Onions and other strong smells only bothered you this way when you were expecting Ginn and Kito but..." she trailed off as her thoughts seemed to align towards the impossible. "It's impossible, right? I mean, you're almost 40!" she whispered, voice a strange mixture of hope and disbelieving concern.

With a nonchalant shrug, Killua straightened himself to his full height and wiped his mouth one last time before walking out of the half-bath, dismissing his sister in a light tone, "Impossible? No - people have had children at 50 naturally. Highly unlikely? Yes." He headed to check on his bags which were neatly lined alongside the entrance hall of the cottage as he waved Alluka's further questions off.

"I'm fine, Allu, really. It's probably just some bug, or nerves about the trip or something," Killua insisted, reassuring tone half-marred by a slight quiver to his voice. He clasped his sibling in a one-armed hug for a moment before giving her a genuine smile, "I've got to go check on the kids and make sure that they're packed and ready for the morning. Well, the kids and Gon." He paused to share a light chuckle with the younger woman, clasping her shoulder one last time as he whispered earnestly, "I promise that - on the off chance that this isn't a bug - everyone, _especially Gon_ , will know the moment that I do. No more secrets."

Alluka stared after his retreating form with a wistful smile; she hoped that the Dark Continent would somehow be kind to her brother and the potential life that lay within his still-flat abdomen.

_**~** _

_**Gon** _

_**~** _

Gon Freecss leaned against the massive trunk of a World Tree sapling - just like the one he had climbed as a teenager in his quest for time with his father, Ging - as he observed his family members interacting nearby. A feeling of coming full-circle washed over him amidst his recollection of the 15-odd-years he spent traversing the same continent with his parents, only to unknowingly lose out on raising his children; yet here he was, 5 years after leaving the dangerous terrain in his quest to reunite with Killua, returning for an expedition with the love of his life, their two children and both of his parents.

A small smile curved his lips upwards as his usually gruff father directed fond patience towards his granddaughter whilst helping her with the set-up of her tent. At 59-years-old, Ging Freecss had found something stable in life that was worth treating with gentle care, and it came in the form of Kito.

Gon could not help his widening smile as the mixed melodies of his relatives' laughter lilted over to his ears, punctuated by the odd shout or groan from Kite, Killua and Ginn. The latter three complained amidst their own laughter as they battled copious amounts of kindling - sourced by Gon - to start a roaring fire that would last through the night.

Pushing himself off the tree bark as his mother beckoned him to come help with the stubborn fire, Gon caught Killua's eyes in an intense gaze that made his heart constrict almost-painfully. It had been 28 years and he still thought Killua as remarkable and beautiful as he had on that first day of the 287th Hunter Exam.

Gon pulled his beloved into a searing kiss, ignoring the groans and huffs from his kids and parents alike as he smiled against Killua's lips. He patted his pocket lightly after pulling away, getting to work on the fire with a cheery grin as the comforting weight of the ring box in his trousers filled his heart with emotions of reassurance and fulfilment. Gon’s eyes shone as he poked and prodded at the flames, pausing to accept a piece of strawberry shortcake from Ginn as his son passed slices to each family member. Life was good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! It’s finally over and my heart hurts with both pride and slight bittersweet feelings. 
> 
> Thoughts, comments, reactions? 
> 
> I really loved this little universe that I’ve created and like anything that most autistic people get attached to, I find it hard to part and let go after months of writing it. 
> 
> Would anyone be interested in a sequel or side pieces of the same universe? I’d love to write more about this little family, even if it’s small one-shots addressing some of the hints left in the last chapter. 
> 
> Anyway, thank you again and please do share anything that you may feel kind enough to. It really brings me joy and makes my days <3 
> 
> Over and out!
> 
> \- M. A.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Sharing my ideas through writing keeps me going through life's tough times.
> 
> Please comment any thoughts and feedback that you are kind enough to share! 
> 
> \- M. A.


End file.
